It is almost impossible to go through life without coming across people who you don’t see eye to eye with.
Conflict with trying and selfish people is an unavoidable part of life, something that we can’t keep running from, and must learn to deal with. This means learning to tackle indifferences with family members, friends and colleagues. Once you can master this, you will ensure that your problems don’t get the better of you.
The following few points can be kept in mind when dealing with the people you find difficult to interact with:
8 Tips For Dealing With Difficult People
Control Your Emotions
Conflict can easily trigger feelings of stress and anger. A negative emotional state can lead to negative physical reactions in you. During stressful interactions, for example, it is common to feel a persistent heaviness in your chest, and this is usually indicated that you are trapping negative energy inside your body. The most effective way to tackle physical manifestations of negativity is to control your emotions.
The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation with a difficult person, take several deep breaths and relax your body without giving way to anger and stress. Make a conscious decision to do these actions. Breathing will help you relax and allow negative energy to dissipate from your body.
Another great way to stop your emotions from taking over is to use the STOP method:
- S:Stop and be aware of your actions before reacting.
- T:Take deep breaths, which will help you relax. Deep breathing is known to have a calming effect.
- O: Observe. Instead of recognizing only your thoughts and feelings in the heated moment, notice how you are reacting physically to the situation as well. Then, observe the emotions that are causing these physical changes. Once you have pinpointed the emotions behind your actions, the anger will automatically disperse.
- P: Proceed with what you were doing. Carry on as usual because the problem no longer has the power to affect you.
Sometimes, the people who cause stress with their behavior have no idea how their actions and words are affecting others. It is, therefore, a good idea to forgive them.
However, to truly forgive someone, you need to perceive their behavior as more than just a series of actions which cause stress. You need to understand why that person is behaving the way he/she is and practice compassion. Forgiving will allow you to see any stressful situation as an opportunity to learn and grow. You will look good and feel more in control of yourself
Don’t Be Intimidated
You may have to deal with controlling people, who want to have the last word in every situation. This behavior is usually seen in highly-insecure people. Because they are afraid of being perceived as inadequate, they tend to intimidate others.
However, try to stay calm instead of giving in to the intimidation. Whether you face such people in your personal or professional life, believe in yourself and speak up, especially if you’re certain you have your facts right.
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Running away from or avoiding difficult will not solve the problem. The best way to deal with them is by showing them how to handle their matters themselves.
Avoid acting strong in front of them because this will only lead to further clingy behavior and dependence on you for solving their problems. Making them accountable and encouraging them to take charge are other ways to steer them towards being independent and confident.
Refrain from Venting
After having a bad day or week, venting to friends or colleagues can be a natural way to share your feelings. Unfortunately, some people carry the weight of negativity with them everywhere they go by bickering and complaining about anything they can. It is up to you to stop this behavior from rubbing off on you. Being around negative people can make you bitter. Hence, mingling with them is to be avoided at all costs.
Instead of allowing them to moan about problems, try to think of ways to solve their problem. If this doesn’t work, then keeping your distance from them is the only way to prevent their negativity from affecting you. Obviously, this person has an endless capacity to complain and the solution to their problems will most likely be found within themselves.
If you know someone who won’t stop giving his/her opinion and suggestion on every single topic, then you are dealing with someone who loves the sound of his/her own voice. His/her monologues have the power to stifle anyone and unfortunately, little can be done to stop that.
The only solution is to steer clear of people prone to lecture those around them. Any sort of conversation with such a person should be done at your own risk (and with plenty of time to kill!).
Never Encourage Victim-Behaviour
One of the hardest types of people to deal with are the passive-aggressive-victim type. These people cause you harm, but somehow turn the situation around to pose as victims themselves.
The solution? Don’t treat them any different than you would anyone else. Claiming to be a victim is no excuse for inconsiderate behavior. If they have a genuine problem, you can offer practical advice.
These personality types usually want someone to listen to them.Although doing so is easy, never continue listening to someone’s problems if you aren’t being valued. If the so-called victim wants you to only listen and never asks for your opinions, then you are being used and it’s time to leave.
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Aretha Franklin said it best when she remarked, “All I need is a little bit of respect.” This is the golden rule for dealing with anyone, not just difficult and selfish people. Always remember that if you treat someone disrespectfully, they can just as easily do the same to you.
We come across difficult people throughout our lives and knowing how to deal with them is a life skill that everyone needs. What matters is how you deal with such people, whether it’s someone who loves the sound of their own voice, someone who finds fault with everything you do, or even someone who gives you stress without realizing how their behavior can affect others. Some of their actions will take getting used to, especially if you are the type of person who is easily angered. The next time you find yourself dealing with a difficult person, make it a point to stay calm and respectful, and remember the points mentioned above.Believe in yourself, do good, and it will come back to you tenfold.