Yesterday I had a talk with my father about happiness and life in overall, and that small pep talk inspired me to put together a list of tendencies that I have found in both the observation of myself and those around me. These tendencies, in my opinion, can make life a lot more complicated and difficult to go through than it needs to be. Read through the list, see how many apply to you and feel free to add any others that you may want to share through the comment section of the article.
In Order To Be Happier You Need To Stop…
Comparing Yourself To Others
Don’t compare your progress in life with that of others. Whether it’s an iconic figure or even a friend or co-worker many of us have a natural tendency to compare ourselves or our circumstance to that of another. Think of the billion times you have said, either vocally or under your breath, “must be nice” when looking at another person’s life. You need to know that we all need our own time to travel our own distance. Prove yourself to yourself, not others. The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. The moment we stop comparing and instead focus on our own experience the more likely we are to both find peace in things being the way that they are and motivation to change them should we feel pulled to.
Running from your problems
If you have a problem, it’s your job to deal with that problem, no one is going to do it for you. You can’t run from your problems forever, and believe it or not the longer you run from them the more difficult it becomes to face these problems. Don’t blame others and quit making excuses, no one cares about them! See Also (How To Transform Any Situation In Your Life)
Stop wasting time
Unlike other things in life – money, love, respect, friendship, good health, hope, opportunities, school and many more – time is the one thing you can absolutely never get back once it’s gone. And this is a good reason why you should wake up each morning and mindfully consider and plan what and who will give your day to, because once the clock hits 00:00 that day is gone, so choose wisely. See Also (5 Different Breaks You Should Take Starting Today)
Stop trying to re-live your past
A quote I love states: “If you only live to regret your past, you will never live to love your future.” – Edward Grey. Rather than preoccupy yourself with a comparison to another point in time why not try giving all of your energy and attention to the one that is right in front of you. If you have problems with your past and don’t know how to move on I suggest you to read: How To Move On.
Stop looking For Someone Perfect
Not only is our idea of perfect most likely heavily shaped by entertainment and popular media but it is also ever changing and therefore pretty well impossible to ever be met. Instead of focusing on searching someone perfect try focusing on finding the perfect match for you, the one who completes you; he/she doesn’t need to be perfect. We are all capable of being and feeling complete love on our own, relationships are simply the extension of that love with another person. The shedding of the need for “perfection” will also make you a lot more open to connecting and sharing experiences with anyone that comes into your life, remembering that love can often be found in the oddest places.
Stop Trying to make everyone happy.
Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to make others happy that we forget about ourselves. If you try to make everybody around you happy, you will exhaust yourself, both from the inside and the outside. The person who comes first when it comes to happiness is yourself. See also (24 Thought Provoking Questions You Need To Answer For Yourself)
Trying to be someone who you are not.
Whether it’s the impact of popular opinion once again or simply the preference of someone you are trying to impress, we are never doing ourselves a favor when we try to become someone else. Focusing on understanding and fully owning with comfort who you truly are will take you a lot further in life than anything artificially created.
Surrounding yourself with the “wrong” people.
If the people surrounding you are not uplifting you or bringing you joy or having a positive effect on your life, make sure to ask yourself this question – Why are you still around them? If you can’t think of a good answer, then you should stop hanging out with those people. Life is short and spending it with the wrong people is wrong. Go out and find the “right” ones and your life will change!
Letting others talk you out of your dreams.
I’ve seen too many examples, and that’s one of the reasons I started motivationgrid.com, because I was upset by that fact. Why would you let anyone talk you out of your dreams? Others might not understand what your dreams mean to you. And that’s normal, it’s your dream, not theirs in the first place. So you owe to yourself to stop living for other people and their opinions. Be true to YOU.
Not appreciating what you have when you have it.
We often forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of deeply appreciating what we do have. And often times we start appreciating things only when we lose them. You won’t always get exactly what you want, but you should always appreciate what you have.
Seeking validations from others.
You are good, you are smart, you are fine and you are strong. You are already valuable, that’s why you don’t need other people to validate you. You are YOU and that’s the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.
Being afraid of making mistakes stop you from doing what you want.
There is no way you will never make mistakes in your life, but you shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes. Growing up in life involves a lot of mistakes and learning from them. Don’t be afraid of doing something because you won’t make it from the first try. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you, instead let failures be your guidelines until you learn how to make what you want to make.
Stop being negative
Having a negative output on life will only bring negative results. Negativity leads to more negativity. Focus on being more positive, try to see the good even when confronting bad situations. Just remember that you can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.
Stop worrying so much.
Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Five years? Twenty years?” If the answer is not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
Talking the talk, but never walking the walk.
When it’s all said and done, be sure you haven’t said more than you’ve done. Remember that, actions always speak louder than words. So work in silence, and let your success be your noise.
If you are struggling with any of these, do not worry, you are not alone. We are all trying to improve, fix our lives and enjoy them more. So lets turn things around now – What do you think we should start doing in order to improve our lives?
Photo credit: amira_a